I’m a divorce lawyer who’s been divorced. Here’s the reality nobody tells you about marriage and prenups

Years later, I went through my own divorce. It was everything I was “taught” in law school.

I said to myself, “you know what to do, you’ve helped so many clients navigate this before.” 

But just like being in a car accident, you don’t really understand the devastation it has on your life, regardless of how many times you’ve seen it in movies, put on your seat belt and reviewed your car insurance policy, until it happens to you.

Even with the “perfect” prenup, no one is immune from the emotional turbulence of ending a marriage. But because we had those difficult conversations up front, the process was clearer, calmer, and far more manageable than it might have been otherwise. That preparation was a gift — not just for me, but for my daughter and my ex-husband as well.

It’s what reinforced my conviction to build HelloPrenup: the first online prenup platform to make prenups fast, affordable, and accessible. I wanted couples everywhere to have the same chance to enter marriage with peace of mind, without unnecessary cost or conflict no matter what life brings their way. But most importantly — create a legally guided space where the tough conversations can be had so the longevity and health of the marriage is prioritized, while a plan is put in place.

100% of marriages end — and most endings are painful

Besides taxes and change, there’s one additional guarantee in life: all marriages will end — either in death at 60% or divorce at 40%. Yet only 33% have an estate plan in place in the event of death, and worse, only 15% have a prenup in the event of a divorce. This means the majority of marriages are vulnerable to the emotional, financial, & burdening experiences while they are grieving one of the most devastating losses they will ever go through. 

Without a prenup, couples are forced to rely on the government during one of the most vulnerable times in their lives, often facing unnecessary financial strain while navigating outdated, bloated systems. According to the 2022 Legal Services Corporation Justice Gap Report, 92% of low-income Americans receive little or no legal help in serious civil matters, including family law. When people represent themselves, even a small mistake can cost them custody, property, or long-term financial stability. Family law is complex — even for trained professionals — yet most families are left to face it alone, a reality that undermines the very principles of our justice system.

With most unprotected with a plan, I’m on a mission to help other couples build a strong foundation through a more cost-effective & accessible way that prepares couples for marriage through online prenuptial agreements. 

After being the first legaltech company on Shark Tank and with the support of investors like Kevin O’Leary and Nirav Tolia, we’ve helped over 100,000 people have important conversations up front without the time and expense of an attorney through the benefits of a prenup.

No longer reserved for the wealthy elite, prenups are becoming standard among Millennials and GenZ. 75% of HelloPrenup users are under age 40, with a median net worth of just $78,000. These aren’t trust-fund babies — they’re everyday young professionals who have seen firsthand the damage divorce can do. They know marriage isn’t just about love; it’s also a binding financial contract that can be expensive, adversarial and devastating to get out of if things go wrong. 

Beyond protecting wealth, prenups protect your marriage.

Prenups were once seen as a bad omen, signaling a lack of commitment. In reality, they work more like preventative medicine. Prenups help couples address the strongest predictors of divorce before they become toxic to ensure the health and longevity of the marriage.

By openly discussing these predictors and expectations at the start, couples strengthen their relationship instead of waiting until it’s “sick” with conflict. These candid and thoughtful conversations about potential scenarios and solutions allow partners to get on the same page and build healthy habits for the long run that can ultimately avoid the detriments of a divorce.

You’ve planned the perfect wedding. But have you planned for a successful marriage?

Millennials and GenZ are challenging societal norms based on lessons learned from previous generations. They’re getting married later (average age of a HelloPrenup user is 37, ten years older than the average age a decade ago), swapping lavish ceremonies for house down payments, and having pets and plants instead of children. 

These couples are also bringing more complex situations to the relationship than 20 years ago. Either party could own homes, businesses, retirement accounts, or side hustles before getting married. Many carry student loans or other debt, and 75% expect to inherit sizable sums from their parents as part of the Great Wealth Transfer.

One in 10 HelloPrenup users has been divorced in the past, and the remaining likely know someone who has been through it. With divorce rates at a staggering high of 50%, and second marriages hovering around 70%, there is more incentive than ever to plan in advance.

Absent a prenup, couples are at the mercy of their state’s laws to dictate the terms of the divorce. The last thing most want is to trust their finances to the state. Traditional family law can be archaic, inconsistent and not aligned with the realities of modern relationships. They were designed for heterosexual couples, where only the husband works, while the wife raises the family. Today, more women are the primary breadwinners, and their male counterparts are stepping into domestic roles to support the family. 

Infidelity & other important conversations

Infidelity is one of the most common topics addressed in a prenup: 36% of couples choose to include an infidelity clause, a number that has grown 3% since February of 2025.

But infidelity clauses aren’t just about establishing penalties for cheating – they are about setting expectations. There are infinite ways a couple might define infidelity: is it sliding into someone’s DMs on social media, engaging in intercourse, or somewhere in between? Prenups force couples to agree on that definition, perhaps even setting terms for an open marriage or other relationship boundaries. And it holds both parties accountable: the median damage amount for infidelity is $50,000, and with a median net worth of $233,000, an affair puts almost 25% of that at stake.

Modern prenups can also cover:

Fertility: One in six people are affected by infertility. 10% of HelloPrenup couples add an embryo clause in their prenup to establish terms for reproductive property. This is increasingly important as some state laws lean toward assigning embryos personhood status. A reproductive clause, including disposition terms, can protect your reproductive future, ensure that the ability to have children is on the couple’s terms, and doesn’t add pressure to find a partner while building a career.

Pets: One in three couples include a pet clause spelling out custody, visitation terms, how expenses like vet bills and pet insurance will be handled, and who has final say in care decisions.

Alimony/Spousal Support: If one partner sacrifices career advancement to raise children or support the other’s business or career, a prenup can ensure that any alimony/spousal support paid is sufficient and in line with the partner’s expectations and standard of living during the marriage. 

Debt protection: If one party brings debt to the relationship or they accrue it during the marriage by going back to school, starting a business, or gambling, state law may deem all debt to be shared debt, making both individuals responsible. A prenup lets couples determine how it should be handled (95% opt to keep debt separate).  

Affordable prenups: The great equalizer

By formalizing expectations (financial, behavioral, and emotional), an affordable prenup is the olive branch that allows modern couples to enjoy the benefits of a committed marriage while ensuring they’re not financially or emotionally wiped out in the event of a dissolution. 

They empower couples to protect their rights, maintain independence, and avoid outdated laws. Regardless of gender, wealth, or background, prenups offer empowerment, fairness, and peace of mind, allowing couples to focus on love and building their future together. And most importantly — they create a plan for the inevitable fact that every marriage will end, it’s just a matter of how and if a couple is prepared or not.

The opinions expressed in Fortune.com commentary pieces are solely the views of their authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and beliefs of Fortune.