Regardless of being uncovered as a deep state psy-ops marketing campaign, the Tremendous Bowl nonetheless managed to retain its standing as an unofficial American vacation.
That’s proper, after being uncovered as a rigged arm of the deep state, the NFL placed on a courageous face and powered on. The league even wrote in a 16-16 tie and an time beyond regulation earlier than Kansas Metropolis (wink, wink) took its second straight championship with a 25-22 win over San Francisco.
You can argue the sport was greater than ever. Ludacris and Lil Jon joined Usher — carrying roller-skates — for the halftime present. Reba McEntyre sang the Star Spangled Banner whereas a triangle of jets buzzed the domed Allegiant Stadium in Las Vegas.The stands had been stuffed, the celebs got here out — not like the Grammys, Jay Z had each daughters by his facet— and pomp had a fistfight with circumstance within the tunnel to see which one would get prime billing.
It was pomp. At all times the pomp.
In case you missed this, there have been a couple of far-right commentators who’ve probably had their grey matter changed with oatmeal and decried that they Tremendous Bowl was someway rigged as a result of Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift have been having fun with one another’s firm. Even President Biden was in on it!
And this was all earlier than Kelce bumped coach Andy Reid on the sideline within the first half in a present of frustration that was deeply uncool. Not serving to, Travis.
However in the previous few weeks, the anti-Swift/Kelce sentiment had been so pervasive in some political circles that even NPR did a narrative on the phenomenon. That’s when you’ll be able to discuss to your grandparents about it.
There have been some very bizarre issues that occurred. Each quarterbacks had 123 yards on the half. Precisely the identical yardage. And one plus two equals three. And . . . see how straightforward that is?
And now the Chiefs have “won” once more. Mild reader, be very cautious with the place you search commentary on Monday.
Each few years the precise will get actually made about soccer and guarantees to stop it. After which the left will get actually mad at soccer for one thing utterly totally different. There are in fact issues to get mad about, like when a catch will get a 6-minute overview and is dominated not a catch.
Infuriating.
There’s typically some kernel of substance below all of the outrage, however this time, the hypothesis on area lasers rigging the end result or no matter madness was being projected over on these channels was unmoored. Taylor Swift didn’t vote for Donald Trump. Travis Kelce shills for a pharma firm that makes vaccines.
That’s it?! That’s all you bought?
Trump himself posted on a low-energy social media web site earlier than the sport that, “I signed and was responsible for the Music Modernization Act for Taylor Swift and all other Music Artists,” he wrote in his bizarre grammar. “Joe Biden didn’t do anything for Taylor, and never will.”
He goes on to say that Swift couldn’t probably vote for Biden and that he likes Kelce, though the TE “may be a liberal and probably can’t stand me!”
As sweetly transactional as it’s to claim that you just’ve already paid for somebody’s vote, what this really tells us is that Trump might despise Swift and Kelce, however he respects the ability they maintain in American tradition. As a result of as loyal as his hardcore voters are to Trump, the Swifties are legendary. If it’s a battle between Trump and Swift for the Tremendous Bowl, the cash is on Swift.
She was a magnet that pulled even larger numbers to already best-in-class NFL scores as soon as she began coming to Chiefs video games. Swift’s jacket selection turned Kristin Juszczyk boutique NFL attire enterprise right into a full-fledged development. When she began courting Kelce, his jersey gross sales elevated 400% in response to CBS, and Chiefs ticket gross sales surged.
She chugged a drink on dwell TV within the second quarter and if there’s any technique to win American hearts and minds, which may be it.
Trump, then again, killed the USFL and despatched an NFL proprietor to London as Ambassador throughout his presidency. However that proprietor was Woody Johnson, so much less essentially the most highly effective NFL proprietor than one who will need to have been horrified by the British custom of relegation.
StubHub projected this Tremendous Bowl to be the second-best in it’s historical past, with the 2018 sport as the very best. Luxury boxes went for $1 million and up. CBS offered 30-second spots for $7 million in response to USA At this time.
Stunning that the American sporting viewers may abdomen all this after the sport had been so cruelly revealed as a sham to maintain an incumbent in workplace. By some means. Nonsensically.
However this was going to be a tough matchup for the far proper anyway, pitting the Chiefs and a distinguished singer towards San Francisco, a metropolis that far-right shops like to hate. How do you decide a crew to root for between them?
These crazy commentators are proper about one factor. The sport is rigged, however not in the best way they assume. The NFL is rigged to diffract your consideration span to money-paying shops. The league sells your eyeballs to betting companies, telecom corporations, pharma and tech companions. The one factor it could possibly’t do if it hopes to maintain your consideration is rig the precise video games.
If the NFL was rigging the Tremendous Bowl, it might need labored a bit of extra offense into the primary half. However there was drama, the Chiefs getting back from a boring first-half efficiency, a tie sport with 4:20 left within the fourth quarter. The Chiefs didn’t play nicely, however San Francisco didn’t pile up factors after they had the possibility and so the comeback didn’t take a lot.
Wanting ahead to Tremendous Bowl 59 in Roswell. It’s about time we let the aliens decide a winner.
