If you happen to ask Santa for something this Christmas, ask for the Tanking Tremendous Bowl. The Detroit Pistons, losers of 20 in a row, and the San Antonio Spurs, losers of 17 straight, play one another Jan. 10. That’s just a little underneath a month away, and if each groups proceed this dismal kind, Detroit and San Antonio’s runs of destitution can be at 34 and 30, respectively.
Each would break the NBA file of 26-straight losses held by the 2010-11 Cavaliers and the 2013-14 76ers. That’s a tour de power of banality, a nightmare prize struggle, a who’s who of poo-poo, and I couldn’t be extra excited to see which staff can snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.
The Pistons and Spurs are within the backside third of the league in factors scored and allowed regardless of every boasting a former No. 1 total choose. Victor Wembanyama is within the AAU stage of his NBA profession, aka strong however inefficient stats on a staff bereft of accountability. Don’t inform Gregg Popovich I stated that, however it’s true. The byproduct of tanking is it normalizes dropping, and clearly the Spurs have a roster filled with gamers unmoved by public disgrace.
For Cade Cunningham and the Pistons, the listing of points is daunting. Two weeks in the past, the Detroit Free Press wrote a chunk titled, “Accountability. Effort. Detroit Pistons’ list of problems growing along with losing streak.” I can not look forward to the follow-up — ”Self-loathing. Profession change. Pistons’ streak prompts existential disaster.”
Detroit’s previous two head teaching hires — Monty Williams and Dwane Casey — received Coach of the Yr honors at their earlier stops (earlier than being fired), but this franchise would have you ever imagine they couldn’t lead third graders. The historic dropping streaks by the Spurs and Pistons are each membership data, and I’ll admit that it’s my present favourite storyline within the NBA.
The truth is, this could function inspiration for Adam Silver, who’s been making an attempt to rid the Affiliation of tanking and enhance regular-season viewership for years.
As a substitute of two teams of 4 groups that would meet within the playoffs, pit the underside 4 to eight groups in opposition to one another for all the month of April. How would that work logistically? I do not know, however it will add intrigue to the race for lottery balls and power these embarrassments to really win some video games.
Whereas my proposal could be a bit drastic, and positively unrealistic, I believe a losers’ bracket of some form in April would spark morbid curiosity. If the present In-Season Match is meant to double as publicity for the odd franchise that in any other case wouldn’t be talked about, let’s demand followers to speak about organizations they’ve actively been ignoring since January.
Life is about stability and people mushy peas off to the aspect of your plate have to be acknowledged. Eat your veggies, NBA Twitter. Right here come the Wizards, Blazers, Spurs and Pistons to . . . maintain you? Remind you that unhealthy basketball nonetheless exists?
Paint the courts a resplendent hue of puke, have the PA play fart noises after misses, hand out a trophy formed like a dumpster and require organizations to lift that banner. Actually ramp up the comedic worth and make it a pox simply to be chosen for the Finish-Season Match.
The Pistons-Spurs Tremendous Bowl of Tanking on Jan. 10 might function a smooth launch for this concept. Flex it to TNT and have the Contained in the NBA crew stage an intervention for the competition’s loser. Like spring break rest room intercourse, actually bathe within the depravity of all of it.
