Chynna Phillips, daughter of The Mamas & The Papas singer John Phillips, says her father dropped a surprising confession in her lap the night time earlier than she married her husband Billy Baldwin in 1995.
In a video titled “My Wedding Nightmare” posted to her YouTube channel, Phillips recalled she had “a really intense conversation with my father” on the eve of her nuptials.
“We talked about stuff that was pretty earth-shattering and a lot had come to the surface and my father was having a ton of feelings and, of course, that made me have a ton of feelings and I remember I was up all night just weeping and [felt] numb as well,” she stated.
“She continued, “I might weep after which I might go stoic once more after which I might weep and then I might go stoic once more, and it was as a result of my father had simply revealed some actually huge info to me and I simply felt blindsided by it.”
Chynna Phillips said in a video on her YouTube page that her father, Mamas & The Papas singer John Phillips, told her “earth-shattering” information the night before her wedding to Billy Baldwin. (Udo Salters/Patrick McMullan via Getty Images)
Phillips added, “I do know it sounds horrible that my dad would try this to me on the night time earlier than my wedding ceremony, however he didn’t intend to do this, it was extra prefer it simply advanced in our dialog the night time earlier than I obtained married.”
The 56-year-old did not disclose what was contained within the confession from her father, but she felt that it was driven by the fact he was giving her away at the wedding.
“And I do not suppose it was any coincidence that he was strolling me down the aisle with my mom, and I feel he felt like he wanted to come back clear earlier than he walked me down the aisle for his personal conscience. I felt that he felt that he wanted to do this simply in order that it was real.”
Even though the conversation left her feeling like she was on “autopilot” afterwards and during her wedding, she still found the discussion “priceless.”
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Despite the the conversation with her father being shocking, she still found it “priceless.” (Steve Allen/Liaison)
“On the identical time it was one of many most priceless conversations I would ever had with my father and it was undoubtedly, bar none, probably the most sincere dialog I would had with my father, and probably the most uncooked and actual dialog I would ever had with my dad,” she said.
Phillips has multiple half-siblings from her father. The eldest, singer Mackenzie Phillips and her brother Jeffrey, are from his first wife Susan Stuart Adams, followed by Bijou Phillips and Tamerlane Phillips, with his third wife Genevieve Waite.
Mackenzie and Phillips spoke about their troubled childhood with their father in a previous video on Phillips YouTube channel, discussing Mackenzie’s allegation that she had a consensual sexual relationship with their father.
According to her 2009 memoir, “Excessive on Arrival,” Mackenzie claimed John had raped her at age 19 and a consensual relationship started that lasted for ten years earlier than she grew to become pregnant. She claimed at that time the incest stopped and he or she had an abortion.
MACKENZIE PHILLIPS ‘DIDN’T EXPECT’ BACKLASH AFTER REVEALING INCESTUOUS RELATIONSHIP WITH HER FATHER
Chynna Phillips with Bijou Phillips (center) and Mackenzie Phillips (right) at the Hollywood Walk of Fame ceremony for “Mama” Cass Elliott’s posthumous star in 2022. (VALERIE MACON/AFP by way of Getty Photographs)
Throughout her conversation with Mackenzie in her video, Chynna famous, “Clearly, he is an incredible songwriter and, you realize I cherished his snort, and but there was this entire different facet to dad that was, I imply, type of, like a monster. He was so darkish, and also you simply did not know who you had been going to get. It was very unpredictable.”
In recalling her conversation with her father before her wedding, Phillips described it as “such a defining second it my life, that it modified me endlessly.”
John died in 2001 at the age of 65, but Phillips noted her ongoing conflicting feelings about him, acknowledging his addiction problems and her struggles to forgive him.
“You know it is easy to say, I forgive you’… however the reality is is that forgiveness takes time, it is a course of,” Phillips stated.
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Phillips said that she is still struggling to forgive her father, saying “forgiveness takes time, it is a course of.” (Paul Natkin/Getty Images)
She continued, “It is exhausting for me to dissect it and to say like ‘Okay, well, what am I forgiving him for? For what he did? The addiction? Abandoning me? Am I forgiving him for using me as pawn, for all the things I saw that I never should have seen as a child?’”
The Wilson-Phillips singer decided “I type of simply needed to say like if you’re paid in a single lump sum, I simply needed to say, ‘Okay I’m just going to have to forgive in general, I’m just going to have to forgive all around.’”
Phillips married Baldwin in 1995, and the couple share three kids Jameson, Brooke and Vance.
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Phillips admitted that her marriage to Billy Baldwin was at one point “in shambles” during her video. (Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic/Getty Images)
During her video, she also acknowledged the past 10 years have been stressful and her marriage was “in shambles” at one point.
In a video posted earlier this month, she and her husband appeared together to discuss their marriage and admitted to going through a six-month separation period, but insisted they “labored by means of it.” Phillips noted that she and Baldwin see the world through “very totally different lenses,” referring to her dedication to Christianity.
