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GREG GUTFELD: Mayorkas is a border czar solely a cartel might love

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So, America’s least in style actuality present remains to be going sturdy. Sure, I am speaking in regards to the Bachelor Southern Border. Tens of millions of unlawful, most of whom appear to be wholesome younger males, are strolling away from all the opposite gals on the earth to cozy as much as the world’s most eligible bachelorette. That horny girl within the lengthy, flowing robe. Yeah, the Statue of Liberty. Or as I wish to name her, a six. I imply, come on, we might have completed higher. So many hotter immigrants. So a migrant traveling from Venezuela will actually stroll by six different international locations earlier than hitting the Texas border. How do they do this? I am going 5 blocks and I am exhausted. So is my driver. Now, if you happen to’re so determined that it’s important to flee your nation on foot with no visa or perhaps a passport, aren’t you determined sufficient to not be picky? Would not you be glad with the primary cheap choice? Not everybody will get to marry the promenade queen. I imply, I used to be dumped by mine. As a result of she was an excessive amount of into cheerleading follow and getting good grades. That, and I used to be 48. 

VIDEO SHOWS DOZENS OF MIGRANTS DELIVERED TO BORDER BEFORE ENTERING US ILLEGALLY

However why come right here when there are such a lot of locations earlier than us with individuals who communicate the language and have higher meals? Properly, it is easy. Roughly six seconds after his saggy, dented ass hit the Oval Workplace chair, Joe threw out a welcome mat that stretched from Washington to Tierra del Fuego. He could as effectively put up indicators in Mexico saying, “Don’t stop! In a few miles, you’ll get free meals and sex changes if you murder someone.” I do know. On prime of that, the UN simply offered a plan giving $1.6 billion to 17 Latin American international locations, partially within the type of pay as you go debit playing cards for migrants. Now, the UN will get 20% of its funds from us, so we’re truly paying the migrants to come back right here. And what have you learnt? Instantly, the U.S. had roughly 10 million new contestants that determined we are the one. Which is why it is about time to interchange the Statue of Liberty’s torch with a can of pepper spray.

Dec. 18, 2023: Migrants flood into Eagle Go, Texas, ready to be processed. (Fox Information)

Metaphorically! It is an analogy. Not actually. I do not suppose they make them that massive. As a result of the White Home has turned the Statue of Liberty right into a $10 waterfront hooker. No shock it takes progressivism to its inevitable endpoint. You aren’t getting Paradise. You get chaos. No particular person is illegitimate. Everyone seems to be welcome. That sounds nice in my scorching tub till your entire nation of Bolivia exhibits up, then it sounds nice. So what is the harm? Properly, we bought a tug of struggle over razor wire, an occasion verging on a constitutional disaster. There’s additionally the well-deserved impeachment hearings for DHS Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas, who appears like a cross between James Carville and a Kaiser roll. Mayorkas is a border czar solely a cartel might love. So go forward, impeach away. However let’s not get distracted. The administration has painted themselves right into a nook, which is why they’re now altering the foundations. Instantly, we’re being instructed we should negotiate, that we’re near attaining bipartisan laws. Bipartisan. Makes you marvel who they’re attempting to purchase. In any case, why the hell do we’ve got to barter a border? Wasn’t that a part of the unique deal? 

The reality is, we do not want laws. It is not that tough. See, when the nice orange wall referred to as Trump got here into workplace, he instituted the coverage known as Stay in Mexico. Which, by the way in which, is strictly the identical factor I instructed Menudo. And so they did. Nevertheless it was simply that. An government order, a coverage issued by the president. All it took was a pen and a telephone. Two issues that Biden confuses on a regular basis, which is why he has ink throughout his face. So, like most sensible concepts, Remain in Mexico, was easy and it labored. All it meant was that migrants touring by Mexico to assert asylum right here needed to wait in Mexico for his or her instances to be heard in a U.S. court docket. Now, since progressives threw up each barrier to deportation they may consider, that would take three years. So, three years ready round however now on the Mexican facet of the border. Phony asylum claims would plummet when, as an alternative of a luxurious lodge, they get a motel six. Now not are you able to dream of trimming Nancy Pelosi’s hedges or screwing Arnold Schwarzenegger. 

BIDEN ADMIN FORMALLY ENDS TRUMP’S ‘REMAIN IN MEXICO’ IMMIGRATION POLICY 

And so, as anticipated, tent cities started to spring up down there. Mexico began wanting as unhealthy as downtown Seattle. And so rapidly, Mexico began imposing its personal southern border to maintain migrants out. Think about that? Stay in Mexico was such a good suggestion, it created two completely different southern borders. However since this concept was Trump’s, it needed to be undone. Which is like refusing to money in a profitable lottery ticket since you do not just like the cashier’s tie. The left hates Trump a lot they arrive out in opposition to banging supermodels. Thanks. I feel that deserves applause. So it isn’t laborious to see why the Republicans take into account this supposed bipartisan border invoice as lifeless on arrival as Joe himself. It ought to by no means have been alive to start with. And to the horror of the media, Republicans aren’t falling for it. Which is why nutcases like Morning Joe now accuse Republicans and Trump of homicide.

MSNBC’S JOE SCARBOROUGH: Folks, as Mitt Romney mentioned, are struggling proper now. Fentanyl flooding throughout the border, unlawful immigrants streaming throughout the border, Democrats and Republicans within the Senate know find out how to cease it. And Home Republicans and Donald Trump will not do it. It’s immoral. 

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What’s immoral, you gasbags, is your phony show of concern now, after three years of this crap. Both these two are silly or they’re plain silly. However they are not sensible sufficient to fake to be this dumb. It’s deep. Fortunately, not like these bozos, we’re not falling for it. The purpose is, Stay in Mexico nonetheless works, and simply as simply as Trump did it and Biden undid it, Biden can redo it. I imply, it isn’t like we’re asking him to tie his sneakers or acknowledge his personal grandkid. No negotiations, no laws. We needn’t spend extra tens of millions on the border. That is b*****. Hell, if you happen to want cash, take what you created from promoting off the border wall and purchase your self a pleasant new pen. Then follow signing your identify if you happen to can keep in mind it.

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